Some women feel everything too much. Too emotional. Too intense. Too dependent. Too unpredictable. And when the same patterns repeat again and again — in relationships, at work, in family dynamics — there’s a question that begins to echo inside: “Is there something wrong with me?”
By the time many of these women reach my clinic, they’re worn out. They’ve heard from others that they’re “too much,” “unstable,” or “always ruining things.” But in truth? They’re living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) — and no one ever explained it to them.
More Than Just Sensitive – Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder in Women
By Dr. Zevin Mark, MD – Board-Certified Senior Psychiatrist, Medical Director at IsraClinic
Some women feel everything too much. Too emotional. Too intense. Too dependent. Too unpredictable. And when the same patterns repeat again and again — in relationships, at work, in family dynamics — there’s a question that begins to echo inside: “Is there something wrong with me?”
By the time many of these women reach my clinic, they’re worn out. They’ve heard from others that they’re “too much,” “unstable,” or “always ruining things.” But in truth? They’re living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) — and no one ever explained it to them.
Officially, BPD is not diagnosed before age 18. But in clinical practice, we often trace its roots back to early adolescence — ages 13 or 14 — when emotional intensity starts to rise, relationships become stormy, and the sense of self begins to blur.
It’s not just teenage mood swings. These early warning signs often mark the onset of a deeper, more complex emotional structure that, if left untreated, can solidify into a personality disorder.
A 19-year-old girl came to us after years of failed treatments. At 13, she started looking in the mirror and saying, “I don’t feel like that’s me.” Her relationship with her parents was explosive. At 16, she began cutting herself — not for attention, but out of emotional numbness. There was also a period of substance and alcohol use, sudden breakups, and a recurring sense of identity loss.
She sat across from me and said: “One day I’m the sweetest, most sensitive person. The next, I explode or disappear. I don’t know who I really am.” This is a textbook example — and once recognized, it opens the door to real healing.
Statistically, about 75% of BPD diagnoses are in women. But it’s not just biology. Women are raised to be emotionally available, to care, to contain. They’re taught to hold it together — often at the cost of their inner truth.
By the time the system collapses, many have been silently suffering for years, labeled as “too emotional” rather than supported for what they truly endure.
Around the world, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is often considered the standard treatment for BPD. It’s a good model — structured, skills-based, and validated.
But at IsraClinic, we take a different path. Our first-line approach is Schema Therapy — a deeply integrative method that explores the unconscious patterns (schemas) formed in early life, such as “I am unlovable” or “Everyone will eventually leave me.”
Schema Therapy allows patients to understand the emotional core of their reactions, build a stable self-image, and develop healthy relationships. It’s not quick — typically a year and a half of focused work — but the transformation is real.
When necessary, we add medication support, and in many cases, involve partners or parents as part of the therapeutic ecosystem.
BPD doesn’t resolve on its own. Left untreated, it often leads to chronic chaos: toxic relationships, impulsive behaviors, self-harm, abandonment of goals, and, at worst, severe psychiatric deterioration. Life becomes survival — instead of growth.
Women with BPD are not broken. They’re not failures. They’re people whose emotional world has been misunderstood — often by those closest to them.
At IsraClinic, we believe that once the diagnosis is made with clarity and respect, the path to healing becomes not only possible — but hopeful. We offer not just a name for the pain — but a way forward.
Author: IsraClinic – Expert Mental Health Clinic